Step 1: Breathe Like a Lazy Sloth đŠ„
- No stress. Just breathe in slowly, as if you're smelling your favorite snack from across the room (take 5 seconds). Then breathe out like you're blowing on your hot pizza to cool it down (another 5 seconds).
- That's it. Youâve just nailed a whole mindfulness exercise. Now reward yourself with a gif of a sloth.
Step 2: The Procrastinator's Guide to Grounding đ
- Look at five things around you. Now mentally rank them by how much you want to nap on them.
- Hear any sounds? Count two of them. That's rightâjust two. Even your dog breathing counts.
Boom, you're back in the moment. Stress who?
Step 3: Play the "Whatâs the Worst That Can Happen?" Game đź
- Letâs say youâre worried about that thing you forgot (or didnât). What's the worst that can happen? Aliens invade? You have to wear pants today?
- Now, just say "meh" and scroll through your camera roll for the next 30 seconds. Your anxiety just got served. đœ
Step 4: The Shrug It Off Shoulder Stretch đ§ââïž
- Lift your shoulders up like you're trying to cover your ears (because that person again). Hold for 3 seconds.
- Now drop them like they're hot. Extra points if you sigh dramatically while doing it. đ
Step 5: Scrolling Break! đ
- If youâve made it this far, youâve earned a break. Go ahead, scroll through memes, or find the funniest TikTok video youâve seen all day. Your brain needs this.
- Bonus: Tag your anxiety in a relatable meme. Sometimes anxiety just needs to be roasted a bit.
Step 6: Quick Snack Check đ
- Are you hungry? Grab a snack. If you're not hungry, grab a snack anyway. Your brain might just need more energy to deal with that anxious chatter.
Step 7: The "Minimal Effort Pep Talk" đȘ
- "Iâve got this." â You, when you realize youâve already gotten through worse.
- "Itâs fine." â Also you, after taking this worksheet.
Repeat those until your brain gets bored and moves on. Congratulations, youâve just done therapyâno deep thoughts necessary.
Final Tip: Anytime you feel overwhelmed, return to Step 5 (the scrolling one). Thatâs the real pro move.
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